STOPWATCH
Reality has a highway running thorough it
Based on time.
From the earliest celebrations of the solstice
to the hourglass
to the watchmakers in their shops
to digital clocks that can split seconds.
What I want is a stopwatch.
Something to help me off this racing highway,
and onto side roads
where time is simply a series of moments,
along a winding road.
I want a stopwatch with an alarm—
one that wakes me – not with a loud BUZZ
but with a gentle reminder – “Just Breathe…”
An alarm that invites me to rise
from my trance to my presence.
I want a stopwatch that can help me move
in both directions of time--
So I can talk to my mother as an adult:
Hold my truth
yet in the moment also hear her truth
her fear, her shame, and especially her Love.
So often, our shame is drawn through time
like a thread dragged after a needle;
holding together our emotional tear
in a ragged seam.
Imagine if our stopwatch could pause
in those painful moments of shame--
not to extend them
but to let us see
that those we love best aren’t judging
and instead are loving and accepting us.
Then pause in that moment long enough to know
that they embrace our imperfections
as an important part
of what makes us loveable and unique.
Perhaps we could look at that frozen moment
and recognize that our shame
is garbage we unknowingly collected.
Yet we are now given a new moment
where we can drop our shame in the dumpster
and reclaim a loving self
that we had left there in an earlier moment.
Imagine a stopwatch
that would give us time and space
to explore our stories
especially those narratives that demand we be
Perfectionistic, Self-critical or Self-debasing.
A watch that gives us enough time
to remember other stories:
of Creativity, Success, Love and Joy
of delighting in old friends
and celebrating new ones.
And to deeply know that in any moment ahead
we can choose a new narrative to follow.
Clearly this watch cannot be digital-
self-enclosed,
only energized by its own sealed battery.
We are gathered in this series of moments
our Higher Power as our watchcase
Dale and Nina as our mainspring
and each of us as an essential part
of the stopwatch we‘ve created.
And each learning from one another
how to build our own stopwatch
In a radical acceptance of self.
This summer has been profound; each of our psychodramas deeply moving us closer to that self-acceptance that makes authentic community possible. A huge thank you to Nina, Dale and each person who helped to create such a sacred space for summer 2016 Steve Kopp